Healthy and already beautiful!!! Ok, I know I'm the mother and would think that about an alien child, but seriously I fell in love at first sight.... Even if SHE is all crazy looking! We went in for my 20 week ultrasound this week and after about 4 months of deliberation we decided to find out what the sex was. Chris was determined to figure it out and I was on the fence. We already have a boy and a girl so we had everything we needed... The deciding factor for me was the fact that I could get the washing and setting up completed before the baby came instead of doing it after the baby arrived! Me being the person that likes things planned and easy as possible decided to find out and start getting ready! Chris had the day off of school and was able to join me. Usually my mom comes with us as well but she was out of town and my mother-in-law was watching the kids. It was just Chris and I and I was pretty anxious. Not just to find out what sex I was carrying but most importantly to find out if all was well! I have been feeling the baby move for a few weeks now, but I just needed this visual confirmation that all was good!
I laid back on the table and the exam was started. When I saw the beating heart I cried, that has never happened before, perhaps with age I'm realizing I'm not as invincible as I use to be... Of course with the 20 week ultrasound the technician is looking to make sure EVERYTHING is good and after about 3 or so minutes she apologized for it being boring and that she would get to the good stuff soon. I just giggled and told her just seeing my baby's heartbeat was good for me and to take her time. Apparently most mother's are not as patient and after that she was super nice and talked about everything she was seeing and even went into the details for Chris! Finally the good stuff came of seeing the face and the arms and legs and little fists and then the sex. She paused the screen to see if Chris could figure it out, but I said it for him. (three little lines=girl!) I can't tell you why but tears started streaming down my cheeks!!! Was I excited for a girl or just wishing it was a boy? I cannot tell you because I do not know.... I guess I truly was just hoping for a healthy baby, no matter what sex.
I have a friend who is having her fourth boy... if you would have asked me before Katelee came along I would have told you I never wanted any girls, but now it's a different story. First off Katelee is so darn special to me I would never wish for her to not have been mine... and my good friend having her fourth boy made me realize something I never really thought about before.... She said
"The problem with sons is that once they are older they don't ever call mom "just to talk," they get married and gravitate toward the wife's family and they don't need their moms after they have a baby. I feel like I have so many mommy things to teach a daughter, but I may not get the chance to do it. It breaks my heart to think I won't have a daughter that I can share a relationship with akin to the one I have with my own mom. These are the things I mourn."
I must admit I cried when I read this.... How could I have never thought of this before? How could I have not looked at my relationship with my mother and wanted that with my own daughter(s). All I saw before reading this was how rude I could be in my teenage years, how much drama girls bring to their parents lives, doing a girls hair and the fights mothers are doomed to have with their daughters!!! I will admit from the day I read this going forward I loved the thought of my future with Katelee and any other Girls I might have! They will be a challenge but the reward of being there for her when she goes on her first date, gets her heart broken, goes to the temple, gets married and brings life into this world will be so worth it!!!
Plus Katelee will have a sister pretty close in age and how cool with that be for them? I love the relationship I now have with my sister and wouldn't trade it for anything!
So bottom line I'm excited to have a girl! I'm excited to hold this little lady and put bows in her hair! Chris isn't too excited to have to cater to two princesses but he is ready for the challenge! I'm not excited to share my husband's attention with two other little ladies who will conspire against me at times, but I'm up to the challenge! Ethan isn't excited to not have his tackling partner like he wanted but he will teach this little lady how to wrestle and tackle just like he has Katelee, so he is also up for the challenge! Katelee, well Katelee is always up for a challenge and I'm sure it will be a challenge for her, but she'll make it too! Wish us luck and perhaps in 12 years you can refer me back to this post and why I was so excited to have a girl!!!!