Our Ashlee is THREE!!!

I cannot believe that my little girl is THREE today!  Where has the time gone?  It seems like just yesterday she was born and we were suddenly a family of five.  This girl is her own unique self, spunky, sassy, sweet and just plain Ashlee!  The first year or so of her life she was a mellow, go with the flow kind of girl and now she is go, go, go and just a monster.  She is independent, does whatever she wants to do.  She talks back, says things she knows she shouldn't and just smiles at you when you try to reprimand her.  She will say yes to time out, yell at you in frustration and hit her siblings when they make her mad.  She acts shy until she gets comfortable and then watch out!  Her smile is infectious, her giggle is mischievous and her facial expressions are far beyond any I have ever seen.  She talks with her hands and her looks.  She gives you a mean stare when you try to give her one.  She mimics you and copies what you say in a mocking tone.  Ashlee can be heard a mile away, she knows not how to whisper.  If she can't hear you she will yell, "I can't hear you!"  Even if you are at church and trying to whisper.  Don't get me started on going potty in the toilet...  She knows exactly what she is doing and when she wants to she will, but if it's not her idea, or if she just plain doesn't want to, she just wont!  So frustrating for all of us involved, but not Ashlee.  She is still a big girl in her own eyes, just ask her.  Every morning around 6:30 she comes marching into our room and announces that her tummy says it's time to wake up...  She wakes the entire household up with her loud voice and sounds... 

She also gives the best hugs, kisses and loves.  She wipes off your kisses, unless you are her father and you tell her you love her the most.  She cuddles at night and asks you to sing to her.  She kisses my belly and loves a little sister that has no idea how much trouble she is going to be in with her.  She has the cutest and warmest smile.  She is quick to say I'm sorry and apologize.  She is famous for responding, "I sure can" when you ask her for help or to clean up.  She has one heck of an arm...  Ashlee loves to pick out her own clothes and try to brush her own teeth.  She's not much into getting her hair done, she pulls her bows and ponytails out after a little while of getting her hair done.  She is her mother's spitting image and apparently personality as well.  She drives her brother and sister crazy, but they love her just as much as she annoys them.  She is a smart girl, she can sing her alphabet already...  (for the most part)  She catches on to things very quickly and is always leaving us speechless.  (good and bad!)  She is still our skinny and tall girl.  She is finally 30lbs and 3T pants look like capris on her.  Her hair is growing slow and steady.  It's very curly just like her sisters so it looks shorter than it really is. 

No matter how crazy and naughty this little girl is, she has stolen all of our hearts.  We cannot stay upset at her for too long, she makes sure of it!  This little 7lbs 10 oz girl slipped quickly into our hearts and lives 3 years ago today.  Life before her is very hard to remember and we like it that way!  Happy Birthday my little monster!  We love you!

30 Weeks

So I have made it to 30 weeks and still growing.  I realized that I haven't blogged that much about this pregnancy so I thought I would give an update.  I have been feeling pretty good lately.  About a month or so ago I was plagued with a cold that I just couldn't get rid of.  I would feel better one day and then wake up completely miserable the next.  I finally got some antibiotics from the OBGYN once we reached 3 weeks of trying to fight it.  They seemed to work and got to feeling pretty good.  I still have a cold and a small cough at times, but compared to how I was feeling before I consider myself healed!!  The big problem with that cold is that I wasn't really able to ride my new bike or run because I couldn't breath while doing it.  One day while feeling better I rode for about 30 minutes and the next day I felt horrible so I didn't dare do that again.  I will blame that for gaining 12lbs in 5 weeks at one point.  (There were also the holidays, but I'm sticking to the cold as the reason for the gain)  It's actually quite odd, because with Ethan and Katelee I gained 12lbs as well in one month.  I guess my body just decides to be pregnant one month and I pay for it on the scale.  Luckily this last month I only gained 3 lbs, so I feel much better about that.  Currently I'm up 30lbs total and I'm ok with that.  I saw the doctor Monday and I'm measuring quite a bit larger than normal.  I was 29 1/2 weeks and measuring 34.  I tend to measure a bit bigger with my babies and I'm sure the weight gain is not helping much...  The dr. has requested that I do another ultrasound just to check the size of the baby, she doesn't feel any bigger than the others, but my memory isn't all that good either...  Brynlee is quite active and loves to keep it moving in there.  I love to feel her kicks and crazy movements, it doesn't get much better than feeling that baby move around.  The only time it gets a bit annoying is at work when I pull in close to my desk.  I end up with part of my belly touching the desk and apparently Brynlee doesn't like that, so she gives quite the kicks against the desk.  It hurts a bit, so I usually end up moving back...  I guess if my space was being invaded I would probably fight back as well.  If she is being super active and I'm trying to get some rest or it has become a bit much I just have Chris put his hand on my belly and she calms down.  It's funny, Chris has a magic calming hand.  She usually stops completely.  Poor Chris doesn't get to feel her much because of his magic touch, but it sure helps me out at times!  The kids are super excited and I love it.  Ethan is always the sweetest to my belly, he has always been this way all the way back to when I was pregnant with Katelee.  Katelee is typical Katelee, cold and hot with my belly.  She will kiss it at times and then goes weeks without really acknowledging it at all.  Ashlee is always pointing out that I have a baby in my tummy and she just has a tummy.  She tends to pat my tummy more than anything else.  She is excited to be a big sister, but I'm positive she has no clue what is coming...  This baby has caused me a bit more sickness than the others, I tend to get much more indigestion and heartburn with her.  I have issues of waking up swallowing vomit, yummy, making for a full night of sleeping propped up with my bucket in arms.  No big deal, she is already worth it!  It is a bit uncomfortable and a tad annoying, but I haven't been able to identify a trigger.  I still can't believe that we are having our THIRD girl...  Ethan is still a little bitter that he doesn't get a brother, but he isn't mad at the baby for being a girl!  We just learned today that the hospital we have delivered all of our kids at is closing their maternity ward on April 17th...  I'm due the 25th...  We might still make it, but odds are we will be delivering at a new hospital for our last little one.  Chris takes his PT Board Exam on April 30th and we have been going back and forth about trying to wait until after that to have this baby.  That way Chris would be able to study without a newborn to help out with.  The doctor is fine with going a week late, but with me measuring big we will just have to see.  Then sometimes I think it might be best to have this baby before his exam..  What if we wait and then I go into labor on my own the night before, the day of the exam...  That wouldn't be good!  So we shall see, knowing our kids and how stubborn they are, Brynlee will decide to come on her own so we have no choice in the matter...  Whatever happens will be great!  I'm flying to Houston in two weeks for a work meeting, that should be fun!  I have been given instructions from the dr to stand and stretch every hour and take a nap as soon as I get there.  Chris is giving me stretches to do on the plane...  I'm sure I will be up every hour going potty with the amount of water my doctor wants me to drink on the plane.  I can't wait for all the stares I'm going to get at the airport...  We have a lot going on in the Nelson household, a birthday, school, sports and more so I have been keeping busy!  I haven't had a freak out moment yet about having another kid, I have been extremely excited from day one with this one...  I'm sure that moment will come, but for now I'm just looking forward to a little baby girl coming to our tiny little house and completing our family!!! 

“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

Friday I had a really good day at work.  The FDIC has been at my bank conducting a Compliance Exam.  This exam is all mine, I am 100% responsible for the outcome.  They were here for a data validation exam for a week and a half, gone for half a week and then here again for three weeks.  This has been a bit stressful for me, as my days at work have started earlier and gone later than normal.  Chris and the kids have put up with me getting home later than normal and bringing home some of the stress of work.  They were great for me and helped make it easier.  Friday was their exit meeting with the bank executives as well as the compliance executives (my boss and his boss.)  I scored the highest you can score and was complimented by the FDIC for my hard work and the job that I am doing.  This was at 9:30am, I was on cloud nine after that.  It is always nice when your hard work pays off, it's nice to get complimented and it's even more nice when people express their gratefulness for you and the job you are doing. 

Later that day, still on cloud nine I got an email from Ethan's school teacher informing me that he had a rough week in class and in specials.  She is use to his goofiness, but this week was different, he wasn't listening and was being mean in some instances.  This was/is not the kind of email I ever want to get.  Ethan is a smart boy, he really is a sweet boy, so to hear that he is having a hard time at school made me sad.  I was at a loss, what was I suppose to do to help him out?  This has been a big fear of mine with him starting all day school.  I stressed before school even started that he might make the wrong friends and that he would not make the best choices...  I forwarded the email to Chris so he could see what I got and so we could discuss it later at home...  Needless to say, cloud nine soon disappeared...  I now felt like I was free falling instead of floating on a magical happy cloud.  As I drove home I called my mother and talked with her a bit, and then got off the phone and started crying.  Immediately the following quote popped into my head:

“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

At this very moment I felt like a bit of a failure as a mother, my son was being mean at school to other students, not listening and getting in trouble in class.  Clearly I wasn't doing something right and now I had to figure it out...  My work day had been so great and now that meant nothing because I felt like I was failing in an even greater area, a more important one.  I listened to a general conference talk on the way home, hoping to inspire me and uplift me...  It worked a bit, but I think it didn't really hit me until I was attending the temple Saturday that I totally got the reason why that quote would come to my mind.

It's not that I'm a failure at home, it's not that I'm the worst mother ever, it's not even close to that...  It was just a reminder that my greatest successes will always come from my home, they will not come from my work life.  Yes, I have had many great successes at work, especially this past six months and I'm very grateful for them, do not get me wrong...  But my greatest joy and happiness will always come from what happens with my family and the things we accomplish as a family!  They, my family, are the reason I'm here.  They are the reason I wake up every day and have reason to be thankful.  They are the reason my cup runneth over with blessings that could never be counted.  They are the reason for everything I do in my life.  They are the reason for my work success, they are the smiles that know how to melt my heart.  The joy I feel within my heart when they have an accomplishment of their own, far surpasses the joy I feel for my own accomplishments.  

When that quote first popped into my mind I was discouraged and sad, but now I see it a whole new way.  It was a gentle reminder that my family means more than anything else in this life, and that while my temporal successes are great, they are not anything in comparison to my family and home successes. 

It's always nice to be reminded of where we really stand in the whole realm of things, even better when we actually get it!