Monday, December 20, 2010

Hilary, Did You Know?

With the Christmas season comes Christmas music on the radio. It usually drives me crazy, but I have been listening to a different channel that plays the non-traditional Christmas songs. This has been good for me, because honestly the typical, commercial Christmas songs drive me crazy. Call me a Scrooge, but there are only so many times in my lifetime that I can hear a song and enjoy it. Anyways back to the point of the post. There have been about three different songs this year that I've heard at work and been lost in thought about the lyrics. These three songs are: Breath of Heaven, Mary Did You Know and Joseph's Lullaby. Just a few lines from these songs that I really enjoy and have pondered on are:

Breath of Heaven
I am frightened by the load I bear in a world as cold as stone.
I guess being pregnant during this season has given me a bit of a different prospective on Mary and what went on. Being pregnant with this baby and with Katelee and Ethan I often wondered, "how are we going to raise these kids in this crazy messed up world?" This song kinda gives me renewed energy and hope that perhaps Mary had some of the same questions and concerns I do clear back then. Being a Mother is a load I could have never imagined before having kids. It's amazing how when you have that first child you can literally feel the weight of your responsibility settle on your shoulders.
Be with me, be with me now
Breath of Heaven hold me together, be forever near me
I often pray that I might be worthy of having the spirit with me at all times. Even if it is something simple like keeping my patience when the kids wont stop jumping on their beds instead of sleeping. I know it's possible to have his help in all things, it's just hard sometimes to realize or remember that he can help with the simplest of things as well.
Do you wonder as you watch my face if a wiser one should have had my place?
I have been blessed with two beautiful children (so far) of our Heavenly Father and I often wonder after I have done something not so Christlike if he is looking at me thinking, "Oh come on Hilary, you are so much better than this, teach my children better!" Although I'm pretty sure he expects more of me, I feel like he is overall pleased with most of the stuff I do...
You have come and chosen me now to carry your son.
Mary was chosen to carry the Savior of the world. What was I chosen to carry? I was chosen to carry the future leaders of the church, world, missionaries, examples and Mothers and Fathers of my grandchildren. That to me is a pretty big responsibility and should not be taken lightly.

Joseph's Lullaby
Go to sleep my Son This manger for your bed You have a long road before You Rest Your little head
Joseph, oh Joseph, where do I start. What a humble man. What a great guy. He didn't have to accept Mary and baby Jesus. But he did and he raised Jesus as his own child. Passing on his knowledge and talents to him. I can't help but feel a sense of love for Joseph as I think of him holding this precious baby in his arms and singing to him, kissing him and watching him fall asleep.
I believe the glory of Heaven Is lying in my arms tonight Lord, I ask that He for just this moment Simply be my child
Joseph was a spiritual man, he had seen an angel and knew that one day Jesus would carry the load of this world on his shoulders. I'm sure he shared in Mary's stress and anguish over these thoughts as he saw Jesus grow. I'm sure he often begged in prayer that his son could just be a normal boy.. What parent wouldn't?
Go to sleep my Son Baby, close Your eyes Soon enough You'll save the day But for now, dear Child of mine Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight
These lyrics are so sweet to me I just had to include them. My mother often told us as kids to stop growing up, to stay the age we were forever. I'm sure Mary and Joseph felt this same way because they knew that all too soon Jesus would be grown and carry a load they could not imagine!
Mary Did You Know
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new? This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.
I can't help but relate this song to me directly. "Hilary did you know that your children will come to make you new? That your children will come and change who you are FOREVER? Did you know that you delivering them will make you into who you were meant to be?" I had no clue, honestly, that my children could change me so much. Because I am a mother I feel closer to that person I'd like to be when I meet my Maker again. Because of my children I understand feelings I never knew I could or even ones I never knew existed. So although my children are not the Savior of Mankind, they have still saved me and made me into a better person and I will owe them for the rest of my life and into eternity!
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod? And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.
This one is easier to picture when they are so fresh from Heaven, when they are hours or even weeks old... But no matter their age they all came from the same place. They all walked where angels walked, they have all been kissed by their Father in Heaven!
How grateful I am for the moments I have been given to really listen to these songs and ponder on them. They have given me a new resolve for my own life and motherhood! How grateful I am for Mary, for being such a virtuous girl, for being willing to accept this challenge and for raising our Savior in a manner pleasing to our Father in Heaven. How thankful I am for Joseph, for taking this responsibility on and taking care of both Mary and Jesus. I'm thankful for my savior, for his humble entrance into this world and his profound exit. I'm grateful for the Shepard's and wise man that sought him out and set the example of constantly following the light until we see our Savior face to face! How thankful I am for this season where we get to spend a little extra time thinking of Christ!


Get Hooked said...

I needed this today. Thank you for posting your thoughts. You are an incredible lady. Your kids are so lucky to call you momma.

Heidi said...

Wow thanks Hilary! Such great perspective...any time of the year to ponder! I will relisten to these songs (in fact I am adding them to my ipod playlist) and really contemplate these lyrics with a new perspective! Thanks for this!