Brynlee Hazel's Birth Story

This post is long and may be considered TMI, read at your own risk...

This pregnancy has been quite different from all my others one, except for one thing...  At 39 weeks I was still not dialated at all...  How does that even happen?  After three other kids and my body still refuses to start labor on it's on???  Being that this is completely normal for us we were good to go when the Dr. suggested that we be induced, only difference this time was he wanted us to go into the hospital late at night.  He thought this would be best since my cervix was not dialted or softened at all...  After I protested a bit he did agree to go straight to Pitocin induction if I was dialated when I got to the hospital...  This time we didn't just have to worry about who would watch out kids, but we also had to worry about how Ethan and Katelee would get to school.  We finally worked it out that Ethan would stay the night at our good friends, the Maynor's house.  He walks with them to school every day so it seemed to be better than having my mom take Ethan at 7:20am to school and having to wake the girls up to go with her.  The girls stayed at my parent's house since Katelee doesn't have school until 11:40am.  It was tough for me to accept that my mother wouldn't be able to join us for this birth like she has for all of the others, but things change and we have to adapt, right?

 

Monday night we took my parents to dinner and then we dropped Ethan off at Aiden Maynor's baseball game.  We headed back over to my parent's and hung out there till about 9:30pm, then we headed to the hospital.  (Side story, we have delivered all of our children at Valley Hospital.  It's in the ghetto, but it's closer to us and it has a level 3 NICU...  Well they decided to close their maternity floor the week before our Brynlee was due, so we had to go to Summerlin Hospital this time around.  It's pretty far away, but they have a level 3 NICU as well...I am one of those mothers that wants the comfort of knowing my baby can be taken care of in the hospital we deliver at, if needed.)  We got to the hospital at 10pm, our scheduled time to arrive, and we were quickly told that they were packed and wouldn't be able to see us right then.  They apparently had called us to inform us to not come in, but they called our house phone after we had already left for the night.  So after trying to get a timeframe from the nurse we decided to head home and just go to bed.  If they called in a few hours at least we had a few hours of sleep.  We went to bed and they didn't call until 7:30am and asked us to come in at 8:30.  I had slept alright, but the anticipation of getting a call in the middle of the night woke me up several times.  And did I mention that I was still fighting a horrible cough?  Well it was about day 5 of the cough and it seemed to be getting a bit better, but it still woke me up at times.  We got to the hospital at 8:30am and they got us to our room, it was officially going to happen.

 

 

The nurse came in and gathered ALL the information they gather.  She checked me and determined that I was at a 1 (WOW) and my cervix was super soft, so she would let my doctor know and hopefully he would just skip the 12 hour long induction way...  It worked and they got me hooked up to Pitocin.  With all of the other kids it took 6 hours from when they get the Pitocin hooked up to delivery.  We were ready for that again...  Things went really smooth, Brynlee was a champ and never had any moments that worried anyone.  Her heart rate was super strong the entire time and she stayed on the monitor for the majority of the time.  Before they ruptured my water they got the epidural started and that was a bit more painful than normal, but it worked and I guess in the end that is all that really mattered.  I was not progressing at my normal rate, but I was making some improvement so it wasn't a real concern.  At six hours I was barley a 6 or 7 so they had me start laying on my side in a certain way to try to get the baby's head to push on my cervix.  I started to feel some pressure in my back, but when I was checked I wasn't much different. 

 

Poor Chris was freezing and I was so hot...  He was studying and kept blowing warm air into his hands to warm up.  Eventually the socks came off and those blankets never went on me...  poor guy wouldn't change the air temperature even though I told him to multiple times...

 

Chris jokingly said that Grandma Karolyn wouldn't stop talking to Brynlee and that is what was taking so long.  I started crying at the though of how sweet that was, and how very true!  From then on there was a special spirit in the room and no rush for our little girl to get here if she really was hanging out with loved ones that had passed on.  Our focus was changed and I was fine with Brynlee taking as long as she needed to, to say good-bye to everyone she might be hanging out with.  We switched sides and after about an hour I had a lot more pressure in my back, so the sweet nurse agreed to check me and I was a 10.  She had me push a few times, to which I was a complete failure, and then she said, "you'll get it figured out by the time the doctor comes, you've had three other kids!"  Talk about stress, what if I didn't figure it out?  And how on earth was I not pushing right?  I have three other kids that I successfully pushed out....  Well after a few pushes she said, "Ok, that was perfect, no more pushing I'm calling Dr. Bart and we will push again when he comes."  Well just then another nurse came in and said Dr. Bart had called and he would be up in 5 minutes and she better have me ready...  The Dr. came up and got all ready and I pushed one full contraction and then started on another when he told me to stop so he could suction out the baby's mouth.  I didn't push again, she just popped on out.  They placed her on my chest and I sobbed like a new mother sobs.  She was born at 6:33pm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The spirit was so strong and so were her lungs!  The girl cried/screamed for quite a while.  They rubbed her off and Chris eventually cut the cord.  One thing I love about Summerlin Hospital is they do everything for the baby in the room, so I was able to see it all this time.  Her first bath, measuring and all the other medical stuff they do.  She was perfect, she had a little blond hair and super long fingers.  She looked just like Ashlee to me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This is in grams, the regular weight was 7lbs 9oz... and 19 1/2 inches, with a bent knee (Chris says)

This time it was just Chris and I in the delivery room.  He studied for a portion of it, since his big exam was in a week.  I laid around and dosed off and on, watched some horrible TV and read a little.  My mother was watching the kids and wasn't able to be there for the birth, but I know Karolyn was there, she was very much felt!  I could feel her and almost hear her talk my ear off with excitement.  It was a sweet, sweet experience, different in its own way from the other kids' experiences.  They are all sweet just this one was a different kind of sweet experience.

 

Ethan had a ball game that night so my parents took him and the girls to that since Brynlee was born later than we expected.  With the kids having school the next day and Summerlin Hospital being so far away they decided just to come out the next day.  So it was just me, Chris and Brynlee.  The postpartum rooms were all full so we stayed the night in the delivery room.  I didn't get much sleep, Brynlee decided to stay away forever.  Chris did get a few minutes or hours of sleep... While Brynlee and I got to know each other a little more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I enjoyed the quite time and getting to hold this fresh little princess from my Heavenly Father, but I was exhausted too...  Around 5am Brynlee spit up a massive amount of amniotic fluid and started chocking on it.  I jumped up to my knees in the bed and rolled her over to her side while shouting for Chris to get up and help me.  Her lips started turning blue and I yelled at Chris to pull the nurses emergency cord.  My nurse and few others rushed in and helped out.  Our nurse was so great, she looked at me and said, "I think Mom needs a good hour of sleep, can we take her to the nursery for a bit so you can sleep?"  I was so grateful for her suggestion because I was beyond tired.  They took her for a few hours and I got some sleep.  I finally called them back when it was time to feed her again and after I had taken a nice nap.  It was much needed!

 

After school and my dad got out of work the kids and grandma and grandpa came over.  Grandpa Snickers had already been by at lunch time and spend some good time cuddling with Brynlee.  The kids were beyond excited to see their new sister.  We were told we could go home once Brynlee was 24 hours old, and we were ready to get home.  The kids stayed for a little while and then grandma and grandpa took them home.  It felt a little overwhelming having all of the kids there and a little like "what the heck did we do having another kid?"  But we just can't imagine life without her, out family was missing her!

 

 

 

 

 

We were all packed and ready to go and then we sat around and waited and waited.  Chris fell asleep and when he woke up an hour later was surprised it was so late.  He went down to see where we were on discharge and a little while later the nurse came in and we were ready to go.  My Grandma Alberta made a beautiful dress out of one of Grandma Karolyn's old shirts, so she could be apart of our special day!  We made it her "going home" outfit and she was beautiful in it.  Brynlee was a bit cranky about going home just because I didn't know if I should start feeding her or wait till we got home...  So her pictures in the dress that night weren't the best.

 

 

We finally got to go home and were welcomed by my parents, Uncle Matt and his friend.  The kids were all upstairs asleep, that's how late we got home.... 

 

This recovery has been my easiest yet, I felt great after birth, my pain was almost nonexistent and I was up and moving with no problems.  I guess that is what happens when you get to number four!  Our family feels complete with little Brynlee Hazel, she is a joy to have around and a great baby!  Welcome to the world little lady!  We are so glad you are finally here!

Take Your Parent to School Day

The other day was Take Your Parent to School day for Ethan and Katelee.  Ethan's teacher was going to be out of town on the "real" day, so she had all of her parents come the day before.  I was able to go with Ethan for the first half of the day.  Ms Miller had coffee and bagels for the parents and Ethan thought it was funny that Ms Miller thought I drank coffee.  I tried to explain that many people drink coffee in the morning, he just kept laughing...  I was able to see how they do their phonic and what a typical morning looks like for Ethan.  He is a smart kid, but even with me sitting right there he was getting bored and messing around with stuff in his desk and not paying the best attention to what was going on.  I got to sit in an Ethan size chair for 2-3 hours and that proved to be quite uncomfy in the end.  I got to do station with him, and see him interact with the kids in his class.  Then I got to go to recess with him as well.  I was a little bummed that I'm 8 month pregnant and not able to run around with him while he played soccer, but it was fun to watch.  He was moving the entire recess and I was tired just watching him.  Then I got to have lunch with him.  I considered buying school lunch with him until we walked in and found out it was sack lunches.  No thank you to the Bologna and cheese sandwich...  Good thing it was only 10:30 and I wasn't too hungry!  After lunch I headed back to work, but had so much fun with him.  I know he was excited I was there and we talked about it when I got home from work that night too.  I have worked in his class in the afternoon before, so I pretty much know what all day looks like for him now.  I don't blame him for getting bored, I get bored while I'm there sometimes too...  I love visiting the school and letting the kids see how important education is to us and also showing them that we care about what they are doing at school. 


Katelee's day to take a parent was the next day and Chris was able to go with her.  She really wanted both of us to go, but we thought it might be a little crowded and I had just helped in her class the week or two before, so I let Daddy do this one.  Chris had fun seeing Katelee at school.  She is such a sweet, quiet girl at school.  She is the ideal student, raising her hand, answering questions when called on, knowing the right answers and being a big helper.  It's so interesting to see the differences between Kate and Ethan when it comes to school.  Katelee was able to show her dad the daily routines, calendar, recess, centers and more.  Since it was a Friday he was also able to see her take a spelling test and even go to the computer lab.  (The picture is from the computer lab)  Kate was so excited to have Chris there and he enjoyed himself as well.  I was able to hear all about it from Kate when I got home from work that day!  You could see the excitement in her eyes as she told me what they did and that she enjoyed having Chris there. 

I'm so thankful that the kids' school has days like this where the kids and the parents are able to enjoy one another and show the parents what they do all day.  A day for the kids to feel special and be the center of their parents attention.  I know that I take for granted that my kids are at school every weekday and that this is a major part of their growing and development.  It's great to see them interact with their classmates and teachers.  To see them get bored and truly enjoy learning and being educated.  I'm so glad we were able to work our schedules to be able to enjoy this one on one time with our kids! 

Another Tooth Bites the Dust

 Ethan has lost yet another tooth.  This makes a total of 5, front four (two upper and two lower) and now a side tooth.  He has been messing with this tooth for a little while, last time I checked it I didn't think it felt too loose, but the other day my mother looked over and Ethan had the thing practically laying flat.  So she wiggled it a bit and then my dad looked at it.  Ethan didn't want anyone pulling it out, but finally my dad was able to bribe him into letting him touch it and the next thing I know it's out.  It didn't hurt Ethan at all and he was able to get a dollar from the tooth fairy for it. 

Side note, Ethan is very attached to his teeth.  The last tooth he lost he wouldn't put it out for the tooth fairy.  He left her a note saying that he just wanted to keep it and he didn't need any money for it.  The tooth fairy let him know that she really would like it and she would take very goo care of it.  He finally gave in, but was very sad when he saw that she had actually taken it.  This time he left a cute little note for the tooth fairy again, saying he was really going to miss this tooth and to take good care of it.  She promised to take very good care of it, and he still hasn't gotten the dollar out of the container she left it in.

Our little guy just keeps getting older and older and there is nothing I can do about it!!!  His top front teeth have already started coming in so he doesn't look too crazy, but his mouth is changing without my permission!  

It's a bit hard to see but look to the right of his center teeth.   

Thirty Six Weeks

THIRTY-SIX WEEKS

Friday marked my 36 weeks of being pregnant with this little lady.  The last month of this pregnancy have been quite full of fun times, proving that every pregnancy is different.  Ashlee came down with the stomach bug on Saturday night.  She started throwing up around 6 and didn't stop until about 2:30am.  I made her sleep with me and Chris, and that meant I didn't get much sleep.  Every little move she made I grabbed the bucket to make sure she threw up in that and to check on her a million times that night.  Ashlee and I stayed home from church that day, she watched TV like nothing happened at all and I tried to catch up on the sleep I missed out on.  Ashlee was fine from there on out...  The resilience of a three year old is AMAZING!  I had a doctors appointment Monday morning.  I was a bit hot in the office, but that is nothing new for me.  I picked up lunch on my way into work, ate and then had a conference call in my co-workers office.  During the meeting I started feeling a bit woozy, but thought it was just because it was getting warm in there.  I excused myself and grabbed some water and came to my office to sit in front of my fan for a bit to cool down.  Next thing I know, I'm kneeling down on the floor pucking up lunch into my garbage can under my desk....  Afterwards I felt pretty good but was pretty sure that was not going to be the last of it...  I called Chris and asked him to come get me since I was scared to drive home and not get pulled over fast enough if I needed to.  He picked the kids up from school when they got out and then they came to get me.  In the mean time I yacked again and was just ready to get home.  He picked me up and then we headed to get Ashlee from my parent's house and then home.  I made it home with only yacking two times in the car...  The rest of the day is a day I have been trying to forget since it happened.  I went straight to my room when we got home and didn't leave there the rest of the day.  Until midnight I was up yacking, there was a point where for two solid hours I vomited every 10 minutes or less.  I was amazed that I had anything left in me, even stomach acid.  I couldn't keep down anything including water.  Around midnight I was finally able to sleep.  The next day I worked from my bed, still not feeling well enough to really do anything normal.  I tried my best to rehydrate, knowing that my little baby needed me to.  I had to sip anything I drank, feeling nauseous all over again if I drank too much at one time.  I went into work the next day and was feeling better.  The next day I woke up and couldn't get out of bed again.  I felt horrible all over again, and actually called into work around 6am and then went back to sleep until 1:30pm.  After that I forced myself to get out of bed and shower.  Friday was ok, but Saturday I was back to feeling yucky again.  We had a lot to do that day, so I just dealt with it, but it was horrible.  Sunday I started feeling a bit better and then Monday I was better still.  Finally around Wednesday of the following week I was finally back to pretty normal.  My strength was finally back and I could start eating more normal foods again.  I had another doctor appointment the next Monday.  I was feeling great and even lost 6lbs.  I thought I had gained some of it back, but apparently I hadn't quite gotten back to even with everything I lost from this whole ordeal...  But everything is good now, and honestly I had the 6lbs to lose. 

I'm still having major heartburn and indigestion, from the most random things.  This usually only strikes at night and has made for many nights of sleeping sitting up.  This little lady is very active, moving around constantly and with quite the force behind her kicks.  I have been diagnosed with Polyhydramnios, which is excess amniotic fluid.  I have been measuring about 4 weeks larger than average and had an ultrasound twice to verify fluid levels.  They are still high, but the baby looks fine and there isn't really a concern.  The only real concern is that with excess fluid the baby has more room to move around, including flipping to a breach position, however she has been head down for quite a while now...  At the 32 week ultrasound the estimated size of Brynlee was 5lbs...  (these figures can be off by a pound or so...)  This put her in the 67th percentile for size, and she did have some cute cheeks...  The other concern with having excess fluid is that I have a higher chance of going into labor earlier...  I'll believe that one when I see it.  Friday I will officially be 37 weeks so I think we are doing pretty good!

The kids are still very excited about Brynlee, all of them pay special attention to my tummy and are always trying to feel her move.  Usually whenever they put their hands on my belly they can get a kick or shove from Brynlee, already such a great little sister, showing her siblings love!  I get multiple kisses on my belly a day and especially from Ashlee as she cuddles with me in the early mornings!  She will give me a kiss and then kiss my belly and talk to Brynlee.  It's the cutest thing!  She has the makings for being a really great big sister already!   We are all getting excited for her arrival, some excitement is more filled with anxiety and the feelings of not being prepared enough, but most the time it's just excitement of welcoming another sweet spirit into our family! 

Friday the NSB Operations group threw me a surprise baby shower.  It was so unexpected, I felt so loved.  I got showered with gifts and love, and yummy treats!  They tricked me with a scheduled two hour meeting to discuss Policy and Procedure.  I was not looking forward to two hours of that, so the shower was even more special!  All in all things are going good.  I'm more sore and have experienced more pain during this pregnancy than any other, but I attribute that to me being older this time and it being baby number 4...  Right?  I have eaten more TUMs in the last few months than I think I have in my entire life.  But I already know that little Brynlee Hazel is well worth that!  We are all so excited for her entrance into this world and introduction to this earthly family!   

Our Ashlee is THREE!!!

I cannot believe that my little girl is THREE today!  Where has the time gone?  It seems like just yesterday she was born and we were suddenly a family of five.  This girl is her own unique self, spunky, sassy, sweet and just plain Ashlee!  The first year or so of her life she was a mellow, go with the flow kind of girl and now she is go, go, go and just a monster.  She is independent, does whatever she wants to do.  She talks back, says things she knows she shouldn't and just smiles at you when you try to reprimand her.  She will say yes to time out, yell at you in frustration and hit her siblings when they make her mad.  She acts shy until she gets comfortable and then watch out!  Her smile is infectious, her giggle is mischievous and her facial expressions are far beyond any I have ever seen.  She talks with her hands and her looks.  She gives you a mean stare when you try to give her one.  She mimics you and copies what you say in a mocking tone.  Ashlee can be heard a mile away, she knows not how to whisper.  If she can't hear you she will yell, "I can't hear you!"  Even if you are at church and trying to whisper.  Don't get me started on going potty in the toilet...  She knows exactly what she is doing and when she wants to she will, but if it's not her idea, or if she just plain doesn't want to, she just wont!  So frustrating for all of us involved, but not Ashlee.  She is still a big girl in her own eyes, just ask her.  Every morning around 6:30 she comes marching into our room and announces that her tummy says it's time to wake up...  She wakes the entire household up with her loud voice and sounds... 

She also gives the best hugs, kisses and loves.  She wipes off your kisses, unless you are her father and you tell her you love her the most.  She cuddles at night and asks you to sing to her.  She kisses my belly and loves a little sister that has no idea how much trouble she is going to be in with her.  She has the cutest and warmest smile.  She is quick to say I'm sorry and apologize.  She is famous for responding, "I sure can" when you ask her for help or to clean up.  She has one heck of an arm...  Ashlee loves to pick out her own clothes and try to brush her own teeth.  She's not much into getting her hair done, she pulls her bows and ponytails out after a little while of getting her hair done.  She is her mother's spitting image and apparently personality as well.  She drives her brother and sister crazy, but they love her just as much as she annoys them.  She is a smart girl, she can sing her alphabet already...  (for the most part)  She catches on to things very quickly and is always leaving us speechless.  (good and bad!)  She is still our skinny and tall girl.  She is finally 30lbs and 3T pants look like capris on her.  Her hair is growing slow and steady.  It's very curly just like her sisters so it looks shorter than it really is. 

No matter how crazy and naughty this little girl is, she has stolen all of our hearts.  We cannot stay upset at her for too long, she makes sure of it!  This little 7lbs 10 oz girl slipped quickly into our hearts and lives 3 years ago today.  Life before her is very hard to remember and we like it that way!  Happy Birthday my little monster!  We love you!

30 Weeks

So I have made it to 30 weeks and still growing.  I realized that I haven't blogged that much about this pregnancy so I thought I would give an update.  I have been feeling pretty good lately.  About a month or so ago I was plagued with a cold that I just couldn't get rid of.  I would feel better one day and then wake up completely miserable the next.  I finally got some antibiotics from the OBGYN once we reached 3 weeks of trying to fight it.  They seemed to work and got to feeling pretty good.  I still have a cold and a small cough at times, but compared to how I was feeling before I consider myself healed!!  The big problem with that cold is that I wasn't really able to ride my new bike or run because I couldn't breath while doing it.  One day while feeling better I rode for about 30 minutes and the next day I felt horrible so I didn't dare do that again.  I will blame that for gaining 12lbs in 5 weeks at one point.  (There were also the holidays, but I'm sticking to the cold as the reason for the gain)  It's actually quite odd, because with Ethan and Katelee I gained 12lbs as well in one month.  I guess my body just decides to be pregnant one month and I pay for it on the scale.  Luckily this last month I only gained 3 lbs, so I feel much better about that.  Currently I'm up 30lbs total and I'm ok with that.  I saw the doctor Monday and I'm measuring quite a bit larger than normal.  I was 29 1/2 weeks and measuring 34.  I tend to measure a bit bigger with my babies and I'm sure the weight gain is not helping much...  The dr. has requested that I do another ultrasound just to check the size of the baby, she doesn't feel any bigger than the others, but my memory isn't all that good either...  Brynlee is quite active and loves to keep it moving in there.  I love to feel her kicks and crazy movements, it doesn't get much better than feeling that baby move around.  The only time it gets a bit annoying is at work when I pull in close to my desk.  I end up with part of my belly touching the desk and apparently Brynlee doesn't like that, so she gives quite the kicks against the desk.  It hurts a bit, so I usually end up moving back...  I guess if my space was being invaded I would probably fight back as well.  If she is being super active and I'm trying to get some rest or it has become a bit much I just have Chris put his hand on my belly and she calms down.  It's funny, Chris has a magic calming hand.  She usually stops completely.  Poor Chris doesn't get to feel her much because of his magic touch, but it sure helps me out at times!  The kids are super excited and I love it.  Ethan is always the sweetest to my belly, he has always been this way all the way back to when I was pregnant with Katelee.  Katelee is typical Katelee, cold and hot with my belly.  She will kiss it at times and then goes weeks without really acknowledging it at all.  Ashlee is always pointing out that I have a baby in my tummy and she just has a tummy.  She tends to pat my tummy more than anything else.  She is excited to be a big sister, but I'm positive she has no clue what is coming...  This baby has caused me a bit more sickness than the others, I tend to get much more indigestion and heartburn with her.  I have issues of waking up swallowing vomit, yummy, making for a full night of sleeping propped up with my bucket in arms.  No big deal, she is already worth it!  It is a bit uncomfortable and a tad annoying, but I haven't been able to identify a trigger.  I still can't believe that we are having our THIRD girl...  Ethan is still a little bitter that he doesn't get a brother, but he isn't mad at the baby for being a girl!  We just learned today that the hospital we have delivered all of our kids at is closing their maternity ward on April 17th...  I'm due the 25th...  We might still make it, but odds are we will be delivering at a new hospital for our last little one.  Chris takes his PT Board Exam on April 30th and we have been going back and forth about trying to wait until after that to have this baby.  That way Chris would be able to study without a newborn to help out with.  The doctor is fine with going a week late, but with me measuring big we will just have to see.  Then sometimes I think it might be best to have this baby before his exam..  What if we wait and then I go into labor on my own the night before, the day of the exam...  That wouldn't be good!  So we shall see, knowing our kids and how stubborn they are, Brynlee will decide to come on her own so we have no choice in the matter...  Whatever happens will be great!  I'm flying to Houston in two weeks for a work meeting, that should be fun!  I have been given instructions from the dr to stand and stretch every hour and take a nap as soon as I get there.  Chris is giving me stretches to do on the plane...  I'm sure I will be up every hour going potty with the amount of water my doctor wants me to drink on the plane.  I can't wait for all the stares I'm going to get at the airport...  We have a lot going on in the Nelson household, a birthday, school, sports and more so I have been keeping busy!  I haven't had a freak out moment yet about having another kid, I have been extremely excited from day one with this one...  I'm sure that moment will come, but for now I'm just looking forward to a little baby girl coming to our tiny little house and completing our family!!! 

“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

Friday I had a really good day at work.  The FDIC has been at my bank conducting a Compliance Exam.  This exam is all mine, I am 100% responsible for the outcome.  They were here for a data validation exam for a week and a half, gone for half a week and then here again for three weeks.  This has been a bit stressful for me, as my days at work have started earlier and gone later than normal.  Chris and the kids have put up with me getting home later than normal and bringing home some of the stress of work.  They were great for me and helped make it easier.  Friday was their exit meeting with the bank executives as well as the compliance executives (my boss and his boss.)  I scored the highest you can score and was complimented by the FDIC for my hard work and the job that I am doing.  This was at 9:30am, I was on cloud nine after that.  It is always nice when your hard work pays off, it's nice to get complimented and it's even more nice when people express their gratefulness for you and the job you are doing. 

Later that day, still on cloud nine I got an email from Ethan's school teacher informing me that he had a rough week in class and in specials.  She is use to his goofiness, but this week was different, he wasn't listening and was being mean in some instances.  This was/is not the kind of email I ever want to get.  Ethan is a smart boy, he really is a sweet boy, so to hear that he is having a hard time at school made me sad.  I was at a loss, what was I suppose to do to help him out?  This has been a big fear of mine with him starting all day school.  I stressed before school even started that he might make the wrong friends and that he would not make the best choices...  I forwarded the email to Chris so he could see what I got and so we could discuss it later at home...  Needless to say, cloud nine soon disappeared...  I now felt like I was free falling instead of floating on a magical happy cloud.  As I drove home I called my mother and talked with her a bit, and then got off the phone and started crying.  Immediately the following quote popped into my head:

“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

At this very moment I felt like a bit of a failure as a mother, my son was being mean at school to other students, not listening and getting in trouble in class.  Clearly I wasn't doing something right and now I had to figure it out...  My work day had been so great and now that meant nothing because I felt like I was failing in an even greater area, a more important one.  I listened to a general conference talk on the way home, hoping to inspire me and uplift me...  It worked a bit, but I think it didn't really hit me until I was attending the temple Saturday that I totally got the reason why that quote would come to my mind.

It's not that I'm a failure at home, it's not that I'm the worst mother ever, it's not even close to that...  It was just a reminder that my greatest successes will always come from my home, they will not come from my work life.  Yes, I have had many great successes at work, especially this past six months and I'm very grateful for them, do not get me wrong...  But my greatest joy and happiness will always come from what happens with my family and the things we accomplish as a family!  They, my family, are the reason I'm here.  They are the reason I wake up every day and have reason to be thankful.  They are the reason my cup runneth over with blessings that could never be counted.  They are the reason for everything I do in my life.  They are the reason for my work success, they are the smiles that know how to melt my heart.  The joy I feel within my heart when they have an accomplishment of their own, far surpasses the joy I feel for my own accomplishments.  

When that quote first popped into my mind I was discouraged and sad, but now I see it a whole new way.  It was a gentle reminder that my family means more than anything else in this life, and that while my temporal successes are great, they are not anything in comparison to my family and home successes. 

It's always nice to be reminded of where we really stand in the whole realm of things, even better when we actually get it!