Staying at Home..... One Day....

The other night the kids asked me to read from their journal that I keep for them instead of a regular bedtime book.  We do this every once in a while, they would love to do it every night if I would let them.  One of their favorite entries is this one, July 27, 2010 "today Ethan farted on his hand and said to me, "hey mom, I farted on my hand want to smell it?" I declined and then he said "wanna smell it now?"  It was hilarious! That kid really is a character."

As you can see the kids have their mothers sense of humor.... Well I just turn the pages and read from them and I read this one to them...

April 2, 2011
Just a quick note to you kids!  On Monday (1day away) I have to return to work.  My maternity leave is over (6 weeks) and so I must go back to work.  I want you kids to know that I want nothing more than to stay at home with you each and every day.  I want nothing more than to be a stay at home mom.  I cherish every crazy minute with you guys.  The last six weeks have flown by.  It has been great to grow closer to each of you - I know my divine role is to be a mother to you kids and I do feel like me going to work is not fulfilling that role - but know this my children I love each of you beyond belief and one day when I'm able I will be a stay at home mom and spend every day, every minute with you!  I work to support this family while daddy is in school....  When he is done with school I will be done with work and ALL yours!  Please know my desire for being a good mother and to stay home with you.  And please know of my love for each of you.  Good night my loves, I love you to pieces.  Mommy!

As I read this entry to them I couldn't help but get chocked up.  After I finished I asked the kids if they knew how much they meant to me.  Ethan said yes and then I looked at Katelee and she had this perplexed look on her face.  I asked if she was ok and she said, "that almost made me cry!"  I was slightly stunned, I knew I had felt the spirit as I read to then kids but I didn't realize that I wasn't the only one.  I asked her how it made her feel and she said happy and then I talked with the kids about feeling the spirit and how it makes us feel.  As I reflected on this exchange later that night I couldn't help but smile and feel good about our journal reading that night.

I look forward to staying at home with my kids and being able to provide them with all my time and attention.  So many nights I come home stressed from work or preoccupied by things going on at work or just plain tired and I don't feel like I give enough to my kids.  I know staying at home will be tough and I will struggle at times but I look forward to it so much!  I hope when I am having a rough day I will be able to read this post and remember those feelings that I have felt so strongly for a while now and be grateful for the opportunity of being at home.